The Problem with Missionaries

My inner-self in moments of my own stubbornness and pride. 

Since the age of 5 I have lived in the world of missions (I may argue that it’s actually been since birth as both sets of my grandparents are missionaries, but I officially became an MK at 5 so that’s my start date). I’ve learned something in these 22 years of living among those chosen to “go to the ends of the earth,” and it’s not pretty. Missionaries are some of the most hard-headed, stubborn, selfish, change-phobic and downright annoying people on this planet. Sorry if this crushes my halo, (as I am stubborn and selfish) but it’s the truth.

We missionaries are a contradiction, a juxtaposition of the worst kind. In one breath we are self-sacrificing, lay down our lives on the altar, spreading the Good News kind of people and in the next we are unwilling to change, compromise, or work together for the good of the Kingdom. Trust me, it’s true. There are missionaries out there that refuse to work with other missionaries. Something happens, there’s an argument, and the relationship is broken. Sometimes we become so wrapped up in our own ministry we fail to see value in another’s ministry. We rank ministries based on different and unspoken criteria. We place priority on one and marginalize another (I am certainly guilty of this). We are workaholics and say it’s OK because we are doing it for the Kingdom. Ministry becomes a crutch; a reason to be neglectful of families, of friends, and even their relationship with Christ! Are you shocked yet?

The problem with missionaries is that sometimes we feel infallible and, unfortunately, there is precedent for this; often missionaries are treated as such by those that send us. But we, like all humanity, are broken. We need to be saved. The “title” doesn’t make a missionary better, it does not excuse us from devaluing other professions, it’s not sainthood, it doesn’t give us the right to be stubborn, prideful or mean. Those are sins. A missionary refusing to work with another because of our petty humanness is a sin. One of our missionaries stated it this way, “No one needs the gospel more than a missionary!” We are one body and we are called to reach the lost as one body. The lost are not just an unreached people group; they are often family members, children, neighbors, co-workers. Unfortunately we cover our sins with fancy words like, it’s just a “difference in vision.” That’s the enemy’s trap missionaries can fall in to. How can we love the unreached when we cannot love one another?

There are exceptions to every rule. This blanket statement is more about myself than others, I'm sure. For every bad there’s a good. The truth, though, is we are all flawed – no one is an exception to that rule. We are sinful, we are human. The beauty of our Lord is that he uses the sinful. He died that we might be saved. Being saved doesn’t mean we become perfect or without sin. He chose humans, flaws and all, to proclaim HIS glory. We all are called to proclaim his name, whether we have the occupation of “missionary” or not. Perfection was reserved for only one human being, Jesus.

Missionaries should, and are, grateful to be used despite our sin. We just forget it sometimes. We are only successful in the Great Commission when the Holy Spirit chooses to work through us. We alone have no impact; it’s only through Christ that we are given influence. It’s humbling. And we all can use the reminder that without Christ we are nothing, just lost and broken.

A Sad Goodbye to an Amazing Woman

About a year ago I wrote a blog post called “Goodbye’s Suck!” If you have been blessed with a life that has had very few goodbyes, your luck abounds. My life has been riddled with goodbyes – casualties of TCK life. Today my organization says goodbye to a very dear friend and I am reminded that indeed goodbyes suck.

Marcie babysat me before my family went to Guatemala. In fact, she might have been a part of my family’s life before I was. She has worked at OC for 10 years and is leaving to move closer to family in the Northwest. She doesn’t leave town until later this month but today is one of the “official” goodbye days.

This is Kassen (my sister) and Marcie in India. 

For the last two years of working the U.S. office Marcie has been my sanity. She is calm, collected and rational, which is a nice juxtaposition to my irrational and often frustrated temperament. We also take online quizzes like their going out of style – a welcomed laugh in a stressful work week. Reality TV also happens to be our kryptonite. The Voice just won’t be the same without her.

In general I prefer to be the one who leaves verses the one who stays. I’m not often put in this position. I leave, people don’t leave me. Recently a lot of people have been leaving. They move on, I’m here.

No doubt in my life I’ll be the one leaving once again but for now I am trying to find contentment in being the one who stays. It’s a box I don’t quite know how to fit into. It fits awkwardly and itches but it’s where I’m meant to be.

Goodbyes suck, but hellos are great. I pray for new hellos in Marcie’s life as she returns home. (Thank the Lord for email, social media and phones so we can keep in touch!)

I’m hoping for new hellos in my life, even if they will eventually lead to new goodbyes. I hope I find people, like Marcie, who are worth the risk.  

Will your kids be OK if you raise them overseas - ABSOLUTELY! (as much as any other kid anyway)

I recently helped my grandpa edit a letter response to a distraught aunt of one of OC’s appointees who argued that no young families should go overseas to do ministry. She insinuated that this couldn't be God’s plan for young families and that OC was taking advantage of this young couple, not fully explaining the risks. She said she is actively praying that the Lord would keep them here and serve the needy in the U.S., so they could raise their children in the safety and comfort of “home.”

Our first prayer card, circa 1991. I'm the little blondie in red. 

If you know me at all you will understand why I am writing a reactionary blog about this woman’s perspective. My (dare I say it) outrage at this letter has nothing to do with her claim that there are needy people in the U.S. and this couple could serve the Lord here. It has nothing to do with the fact that she clearly wants her family to be safe and close to her. My anger stems from the fact that she is basically saying my parents (and grandparents incidentally) didn't think of my welfare at all when they moved me and my siblings to Guatemala when I was 5. That my education, well-being and future are somewhat lesser having grown up abroad. (She also implies that there is a level of brainwashing going on in our org, which could be true but I think it’s more likely they are brainwashing us to believe the coffee they serve is tolerable.)

Unashamedly, I am hurt by this letter. I’m not going act like my childhood was all peaches and cream, and yeah, sure TCKs and MKs have their share of problems, especially on the identity level, but I will unabashedly get on my soap box and scream that raising children overseas is one of the best things you can do for them.

Here are 10 things I love about being a TCK (there are more but that could take a book):

1. I was raised to know that the Lord’s plan for your life is more meaningful than the one you may have for yourself, even if it involves moving halfway around the world.

2. Life is unpredictable but the Lord’s in control, whether it’s hurricanes, bus riots, being robbed or taken for granted, I learned from a young age to trust Him in dangerous and mundane circumstances.

3. I speak two languages and learning new ones can come quickly (now I speak foreign languages with a Spanish accent, which so far has worked well J, except in French, but c'est la vie.)

4. I grew up in a home where family was everything; often we only had each other.

5. My perspective of the world is broad, no place is more or less important than another.

6. Not many cultures or countries intimidate me; I believe, with the Lord’s help, I could live and thrive anywhere.

7. I have friends all over the world, who feel a lot more like family. 

8. I've learned that everyone's culture is vibrant and worth understanding, the more you know of someone’s culture, the more you know about them.

9. I've lived on the generosity and obedience of others. I’m humbled by the fact that because of donations from churches and individuals my parents and I can do what we are called to.

10. I don’t have an identity rooted in a place, I am rooted in Christ.

This may sound like I am tooting my own horn, “Hey everyone, look at me and how awesome I am.” That’s not my intention. Trust me, I have my fair share of problems and quirks (ask my friends, I have some nasty habits that almost certainly come from being a TCK). Someone could respond with 10 reasons why they love growing up and living in the same place their whole life and I think that’s awesome. We are carefully and wonderfully made and with that comes different backgrounds, talents and purposes. The world would be boring (and complicated) if it was made up of TCKs alone. We need each other.

Some incredible TCKs (obviously fun is something we can do)

The Lord’s plan for each of us is different. Some are called to go, where others are called to stay. That’s beautiful. Despite the hard times and the complexities of being a TCK, I am thankful that my parents answered His call for their lives.

My prayer for this prospective mission worker family and their concerned aunt is she will see that they are being obedient in following Him across the world. I pray this women will support her niece in this and will eventually become a prayer partner.

Thank you Lord for blessing me with this life, I hope I can continue to run the race you've planned with a willing and open heart.